It is being said that the weight of a secret sometimes crushes the person carrying it. I have almost reached that piont where i can shatter to peices. For past couple of months i have been carrying a secret on my feable shoulders and i can do it no more. Al through this period i new that i need to tell this little secret to the person who will be most effected by it, but just was trying to postphone the cursed moment or you can say was trying to gather the strenght to reveal it. These pst couple of months have been very terible for my freinds , with my mood changing faster than the weather of London. I am really lucky to have such good people around me , who care for me and stood by me no matter how much I irritated them.
Now i feel that i should no longer postphone this, but still am afraid of revealing it. I am all the time thinking about how to reveal it most softly , it being a harsh truth which would be hard to believe. I am trying to figure out ways so that I may not hurt the feelings too much as the truth itself will hurt enough. I even tried asking one of my friends help, so as to figure out how to reveal it.But as the diwali is in air she seems to tobe too busy . hope she gets time soon to talk to me and we can decide on how to reveal this harsh truth .
During this period there were not enough moments to cheer about but i went to Delhi on Diwali. I satyed with one of my friends in his hostel, the best thing that happened during my stay there was that I got to play football after almost seven years. I enjoyed playing football very much, and made it a point to play every evening as long as I was there. On the Diwali night the whole campus was filled with sound of crakers ,the sky with light of bursting crakers and later our room with smoke ! Spend almost three eventfull days at the campus and did not venture even once outside it.
while returning back in the train got the company of lot of children, they were going toMumbai to participate in some kind of Karate championship. while leaving from delhi station there was one of the kids crying as he was already missing his mom and one of the others kids was trying to console him by saying ," hay we will be back soon , after all we are not going for too many days" . after enquiring came to know that both the kids were cousins, as i didn't know there name so called them Jai and Viru (snap at the end of blog). Besides my seat there was small girl,one year old, sitting with her parent. Initial observations proved the girl to be harmless, but as the journey progresses the degree of the error of my perception about the little girl started to unfold. first it was her attack on the nose and ears of anothere passenger besides her , by the night fall she had eaten my icecream, almost toren my book to peices and later in the night terorized her parents nad all of us by not sleeping and not letting others to sleep . But over all liked the little devil very much (snap at the end of blog). on reaching back tomumbai one of my friends called up and with a very sad tone said that she had lost the pearl in her ear-ring,I am sure her boyfriend will get her another ear-ring with a more bigger and whiter pearl, but for now the pain of loss of the pearl was eveident. hope evrything goes as planned for next couple of days, hope i am able to hurt less with the bitter truth which i am holding back currently ... Hope .