Monday, May 25, 2009

India In 21st century……………… is still dark !

I don't know how to start what I want to say, I can't find a perfect beginning for this write up….. Seems I will have to do it like this only. I have spent much of my life in my homeland only and have got very little chance to observe the life of the people , residing out side my homeland. But one of my worst experience or observations regarding the Indian culture has been the prevalence of the dowry. People demand it like they deserve it and it is their birth right.
There is no doubt that Parents want their kids to be happy and try their best to provide them all the happiness in this world. But when it comes to choosing a life partner parents restrict themselves to the century old traditions limiting the selection to their caste, region , gotra………don't you think that by doing so they are decreasing the chances of their kid being happily married! Then why do parents turn a blind eye to their kid happiness and wants , I think it is the pressure of the society they live in. the thought, what will people say if my kid marries some person outside the gotra/ community. Don't you think by doing so a parent is paying too much attention to keep the people happy , to whom they are just some other people (not at all special) and they don't matter at all. But on the other hand to their kids they are the whole world , they look up to them as their role models. So don't you think that parents should think more about the happiness of their kids than the society they live in
When finally a good life partner has been found after a draining search comes the question of dowry.
Why should a girls parents pay dowry , is a girl such a trouble to their parents that they agree to pay astronomical figures to any tom dick and harry who marries their girl. Or is their daughter equivalent to a defective commodity which needs to be got rid off as it is only adding to their costs and giving nothing to their family.

Now what is remedy to this disease , for this we don't have to look too far just need to look into ourselves only, whether we are parents or kids. As parents don't you think it would be enough that your kids life partner is from a good family, himself/ herself is a good human being, will be able to keep your child happy. A person who is being thought to be mature enough to choose who represents him/her in the parliament don't you think he/she can choose his life partner as well. Then why don't parents show faith . What is their to loose to have look at the person whom your kid feels is a good person and can live happily with. If you are not satisfied you can still veto your kids choice.

Now what can the kids do……. If a guy is asking for dowry a girl can refuse to marry him, you are not a defective piece , he is dong you no favor by marrying you. Guys you are supposed to be educated , does years of education teach you this. Are you an auctionable article , the highest bidder takes you. For gods sake think how can two people who are supposed to spend rest of their life together ,start of a wrong foot and respect each other ,still be happy. For God's sake think…………..


  1. well...very well done ifti...this article is actually an eye opener for all those who are involve in all such activities. ur article reminds me a scene from the movie LAJJA whr mahima chowdhary has done the same thing with those whu took dowry..... gr8 job ...buddy...take care

  2. hey hi!!
    rightly said..girls do have the right and its an utmost neccessity for people to understand and most importantly accept this. Iftl, parents aise hote hain kyunki unhone aisa hi dekha hota hain. let the onus be on young generation to change their thought by our actions and deed. let out attitude speak now:)

  3. Inreterst to know the inspirition :)

    And I feel Dowry is a great source of acumulating some working capital for that G8r business plan of mine. Infact thats the only source I am banking on (Getting a job is a bleak possibilty)

    But on a serious note its quiet an embaresment for the society that such a system still exist. I honestly feel change should come from within, and no amount of external stimulation can actually change the mindsets of people.The problem is most people don't think of it as a problem but accept it as a social norm. People like us should be responsible enough to change it, it is individual who make a difference.

    Good that you brought it up :)

  4. nice one..and its really good to see youngsters coming up for social causes like this.